


lullaby

by Cartener



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz (Two River Cast) RPF, Be More Chill - Ned Vizinni
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Nightmares, Protective Michael, Sleep Deprivation, Sleepy Cuddles, Sleepy Jeremy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-04-29 20:59:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14481066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cartener/pseuds/Cartener
Summary: Jeremy has been having a hard time sleeping with nightmares about the SQUIP but his boyfriend Michael is there to help.





	1. Tired

Jeremy woke up in a cold sweat, his hair plastered to his head and shivering uncontrollably with thoughts of his nightmare swiveling around.

Ever since the SQUIP incident Jeremy had had a hard time sleeping, every night plagues with nightmares that often made him want to stop (and occasionally he did stop) sleeping all together. _Everything about me is just terrible, everything about me makes me want to die. I hurt Micah. He probably hates me and is just pretending to be my friend. I don’t deserve a friend like him._ In the past when he had nightmares he would go to Michael, the calming words of his best friend would always calm him down and help him to drift back to sleep but he couldn’t do that now. Not that Michael wouldn’t help, Jeremy knew he would but Jeremy couldn’t go to him. And he didn't want to talk about something so fresh to the both of them, despite the fact they had both talked about what had happened, with Michael telling Jeremy how he felt Jeremy hadn't done the same, he felt like it was his fault and if it was his fault he couldn't go to Michael with it, After everything the SQUIP had put him through Jeremy couldn’t be a bigger burden to his best friend, he just couldn’t. _See your worthless just like the SQUIP said, you can’t even deal with this on your own all you do is hurt people!_

Jeremy made the decision not to go back to sleep that night.

* * *

 

Jeremy walked to the dining hall as lunch period began, laying his head down on the table and slumping his bag down beside him. Lucky for him none of his friends except Michael had the same lunch period as him meaning that he could have some alone time with his best friend, because as much as he loved his newer friends it could sometimes be tiring to be around so many people  especially when he felt so on edge. He had always been more of an introvert, despite how much he wanted to be popular at one point his anxiety always got in the way of much, unless of course he was under the control of an evil super computer.

Michael sat down at the table next to him, slurping his slushy. “Hey Jer, you doing OK there? You look like shit,” Jeremy lifted up his head to look at his friend. Revealing the black bags painting their underneath from the last month of bad sleep and him forgetting to buy some more concealer so that he didn’t worry Michael. _See you can’t even do such a simple thing right, you’ve already worried him._

“Oh wow, I was wrong you look reeeeaallllyyy shitty, bad night sleep?” Michael shot a concerned ‘you can talk to me about it if you want’ look.

“Something like that,”

“Want to come over to my house later, I got a new game and we can order pizza,”

“Sure.”

* * *

 

Jeremy threw himself back onto the beanbag, picking up the remote from its usual place and then feeling a dip next to him as Michael down half leaning into him, increasing Jeremy’s sleepiness as his friend became like a hot water bottle. After 1 or 2 games Jeremy couldn’t help but lean into his friends heat, bridging what was left of a gap between the two, the heat softly lulling him to sleep, he forgot he was meant to be pressing the buttons as his eyes got heavier and began to droop as he leant further into Michael.

“Jer, you ok there?” Michael smirked at his frankly quite adorable, very tired friend who was now half asleep leaning into his side. Michael had noticed his friend getting more tired lately, ever since the incident with the SQUIP but no matter how much Michael tried to push the subject Jeremy just brushed it off as nothing, leaving Michael worried and unable to broach the subject without potentially pushing his friend further away. He just knew that right now he had to be there for his friend to make sure whatever was bothering him he felt ok to come to him when he was ready.

“Miiiicccccaaaahhhh,” Jeremy whined.

“Yes Jer-bear”

Jeremy smiled at the nickname, feeling his insides begin to flutter.

“You’re w-warm,”

Michael laughed at the boy who was acting like a 5 year old next to him, his voice dropping off at the end of the sentence as he slipped further into much needed sleep. “I think it’s time you had a nap,”

“Mmmmm”

Michael pulled himself up, turning to pick Jeremy up bridal style and watching as the boy nuzzled himself into the taller boy’s chest. _God he’s cute._ Michael was already asleep now in his arms as he carried him over to his bed, he’d never known him fall asleep so early but he was glad he was getting some rest for once. _I wish he would tell me what’s going on._ Michael lay down next to the boy who was now grumbling about being cold and drifted off too to the sound of the TV he had neglected to turn off in the background.


	2. chapter 2

Michael woke up with a start, the boy next to him shouting out in his sleep, enveloped in a sweat as tears streaked down his distressed face.

"Jeremy?"

Michael tried to shake him awake, which ended with him getting hit round the head as Jeremy threw himself up but Michael didn't car about the pain, the look of fear in Jeremy's eyes were enough to numb him.

"M-Michael," Jeremy stuttered out, pulling Michael into a hug which shocked him but he returned quickly, wanting to calm down his obviously distressed friend.

"whats wrong?"

"n-nightmare, t-the S-SQUIP. everything" he gulped, "a-about me t-terrible, makes me wanna die, i hurt mi-icah"

Michael's heart broke, so this was the reason Jeremy wasn't sleeping, and Michael had had no idea. no idea how long this had been going on for, he had no idea that his best friend was in pain.

"Jer, its gonna be OK, its not real OK? none of its real, how long has this been going on for?"

"A-about a month"

A month, it'd been a month since the incident at the play, a month since they became friends again, a month since they moved pat it, and yet Jeremy was still trapped reliving it and Michael had had no clue. All the words he wanted to say were trapped in his throat, unable to communicate them to the smaller boy who's tears were soaking through his t-shirt.

"I-I hurt you, and i-i was so mean, a-and why are you s-still friends with me, w-when i don't even deserve to live!"

Michael pulled in a breath, pulling away from Jeremy's grip to look him in the eye.

"Listen Jeremy, yes you hurt me, I'm not going to deny that but i don't blame you for what you did, it wasn't your fault it was that stupid super computers. And i could never hate you, no matter what you did i couldn't hate you, you've been my best friend for 12 years, i know you better than anyone on earth and i know that without that SQUIP you could have never done that to me. So don't worry about it and you should have told me this when it started so i could have told you this then!"

"s-sorry,"

"And stop apologizing!" Michael laughed out, pulling his friend back into him until the shaking stopped, Jeremy now just leaning against him sleepily, the lack of sleep for the last month and panic attack catching up on him. So Michael began to sing.

"You’re a dick but I love you  
It’s just sometimes I wish that we didn't dissect things  
I feel sick when we argue  
The world’s cold enough without us freezing up over nothing  
If you just can’t wait ‘till you’re home  
Then call me on the telephone  
‘Cause you don’t need to see my eyes to know"

Jeremy eyes fluttered shut to the sweat sound of Michael singing. whatever the problems are Michael would do anything to fix them. And the would work on them when the morning cam but for now Michael's concern was making sure he slept. He lay down next to his friend who was now softly snoring, hugging him into a warm protective embrace, if they stayed like this no one could hurt him, he wouldn't let anyone hurt him.

"We woke up in the movie  
Seeing stars in our eye  
And the songs we fall asleep to  
Help to guide us through the darkest night  
’s alright, We’re alright" 

And Michael's eyes drifted closed as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song Michael sings is songs we fall asleep to by frank hamilton (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp_WlOLUIsA )


End file.
